Family and Friends… Best Divorce advice?

Posted on February 20, 2012 by Marion Korn

When it comes to divorce, there’s no shortage of friends and family who are willing to lend their advice. However, the opinions and recommendations of friends and family can often be more detrimental than helpful. They all mean well, of course. But, this is definitely one of those instances where a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

Lots of people have a divorce story to tell, and usually, they’re quite eager to share it. They or someone they know has “been there” and want to share their experience.   In reality, though, no two divorces are alike. Just because a friend of a friend received a settlement that included half of her husband’s company doesn’t mean you will get the same deal in your divorce (besides, you may not want that deal, anyway!).

A discussion about your stock portfolio can lead to much confusing misinformation.  Your brother, who helped you get started with investing twenty years ago, just isn’t the right person to help you understand how dividing your current portfolio will impact your long-term financial well-being. Likewise, even though your sister kept her marital home, that doesn’t mean you should

All of these people are well-intentioned, and there’s no doubt that they can provide support for you in other ways during your divorce. Without a doubt, if you’re going through a divorce, you’re going to get advice –whether you asked for it or not. The trick is to know which advice to heed and which advice to ignore.

If you’re thinking about divorce, and looking for advice about where to start, contact Mutual Solutions, the starting point for separating couples.

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Divorcing or Not – Establish Your Own Credit

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Marion Korn

If you don’t have any credit in your name alone you should establish some now. You can do this by obtaining a credit card but remember you want a card that is in your name only. Many women find that, after divorce they have a hard time purchasing a home or car because they have spent years sharing credit with their spouse. All that credit you’ve had over the years with your spouse is helpful to him but once you are a single woman, you will get very little ‘credit’ for keep those payments up.

Once you have a credit card in your name use is sparingly and make sure you are able to pay it off each month. The goal is to establish a good credit score not to run up a bunch of debt.

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DIVORCE IN RECESSION

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Marion Korn

Divorce is a financial strain on your family because it divides you and your spouse’s cumulative assets.  In this economy, where assets are quickly turning into debts, it is critical to understand the financial consequences of a divorce and how to make the most out of its aftermath. A divorce divides one family unit into two separate units. When one spouse moves out, there will be one more mortgage or rental payment to make. Having 2 separate families also means twice the living expenses, including, but not limited to: health insurance, car payments, and all the children’s needs in the separate households.

Debt loads start to grow when:

  • you have been living beyond your means even before  considering divorce
  • one of you have lost your job due to downsizing and have been depleting savings to cover living expenses
  • you  may be already living apart and  dealing with additional expenses of second home

  If you have accumulated substantial debt and are facing divorce, you will be dealing with how to divide the debt, rather than the equity. In the unstable economy, where your stocks, RRSPs, savings, and assets are quickly eroding, use the combined services of a certified divorce financial analyst and mediator to focus on a solution that works for both spouses.

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Prepare an After Divorce Budget, NOW!

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Marion Korn

If you are facing divorce, you have  a myriad of documents and information to collect and sort. If you haven’t paid attention to the family finances, you may not be aware of what it takes to run the household now. For many, learning about what you spent when you were together is a challenging and difficult task. It’s eye opening for most. What you need to know is what your costs of living will be after the divorce. Some people’s incomes drop drastically after divorce. It’s best you be prepared by building a budget now instead of being hit over the head with bills you can’t pay.

You will have to estimate some expenses but it is important so that you can have some idea of what you will need to survive in your new life.  Where to start? A financial planner specializing in divorce can help you create your “after divorce” budget. They are trained and have the experience to anticipate situations and expenses you may not have considered or included. They can create projections to estimate such things as future mortgage payments, taxes owing on spousal support, future education costs, health benefit plans, etc. 

You need to know what you will need financially in order to evaluate your settlement options. It is also important to know your future needs because it will influence how you negotiate your settlement.

Posted in Divorce, Money, Preparing for Separation, Separation | Leave a comment

GETTING OLDER- GETTING DIVORCED

Posted on January 13, 2012 by Marion Korn

Here are some interesting statistics about the increase in divorces among long term partners.  According to Statistics Canada, as the Canadian divorce rate fell by more than 11 per cent between 1993 and 2003, it rose among couples over the age of 40.  In  the 50-to-54 age group, divorce rates increased to 34 per cent. The rate of divorce for Baby Boomers between the ages of 55 and 59, increased by 47.8 per cent. The numbers fell slightly for those in their 60s, but still stood at 31.7 per cent. Among seniors, it dropped remarkably to 9.2 per cent.

Whatever the underlying reasons for this trend, there is no question that the event itself can be confusing to grown children and extended family.  At a time when couples would be preparing for retirement, the unexpected costs of divorcing can also have a major financial impact.

Managing the costs of divorce at this age is an important aspect of planning for the future.  The reality of covering the additional expenses of having 2 homes is reason enough to make sure that cost of the separation is handled responsibly. 

Both Mediation and Collaborative Practice offer older couples an approach that allows them to make decisions about costs and provides the opportunity to plan for their separate financial futures together.  Financial projections that give information about the impact of the today’s decisions on tomorrow’s finances are a value added service.

Too learn more visit www.mutualsolutions45.com .

Posted in Collaborative Divorce, Current Affairs, Divorce, Family, Mediation, Relationships, Separation | Leave a comment

Interview in the Toronto Sun

Posted on January 11, 2012 by Marion Korn

Check out my interview with Eva Sachs in the Toronto Sun:

http://www.torontosun.com/2012/01/09/divorce-rate-peaks-in-the-new-year

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Supreme Court of Canada on Changes to Spousal Support

Posted on January 6, 2012 by Marion Korn

This article explains what the Supreme Court of Canada has said about making changes to spousal support in the years after an agreement has been signed.  If you want to be able to make changes in the future, then your agreement today should say so- and it should also say what future events would be considered if one person or both want to make changes. 

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/supreme-court-takes-firm-stand-on-spousal-support-payments/article2279213/

The more open the negotiations in the first place, the more likely you are to have the conversation about the future “what-if’s”.  Both mediation and Collaborative Practice encourage these conversations.  For more information, go to www.mutualsolutions45.com .

Posted in Collaborative Divorce, Current Affairs, Divorce, Mediation | Leave a comment

Getting the Paperwork Organized for Mediation:

Posted on December 21, 2011 by Marion Korn

Starting the divorce process can seem like a daunting task.  No matter which way you go about your divorce, from litigation to mediation, you will be asked for a lot of paperwork in order to get started. This is a great time of year to get that information together; the end of the year is a great time to get a full picture of earnings, expenses, budgets, taxes and other important information.  For those deciding to start the process of Mediation in the New Year, here is a list of the paperwork you will want to have prepared:

1.  Budgets: You may each have a budget for yourselves, you as a couple and for the children.  It is important to come up with an estimated budget for what your life will look like after separation. Be sure to include:

  • Health Insurance:  Include the cost for both parties after separation.  (Once divorce is final, if one spouse was covered by the other’s Health insurance, they will need a new policy.) 
  • Life Insurance: Make sure that whoever provides the primary support for the family is covered so that there will be funds available in case of emergency.
  • Housing Costs: If one party will be renting a new apartment or buying a new house.
  • Remember, take your regular household expenses (gas, water, hydro, food, travel etc.) and create estimates for what that will look like for two households

2.  Recent pay stubs.

3. Most Recent Statements from All Accounts (last four digits of the account number ONLY)

  • Checkings
  • Savings
  • Mutual Funds
  • Stocks/Bonds
  • Any other accounts in which you have individual or joint investments. 

4.  List of Social Security Numbers for each party and their children.

5.  Income Tax Forms for the last three to five years.

6.  Real Estate Holdings & All Mortgage Information

  • List the last four numbers of the Account
  • Name of Bank holding the Mortgage
  • Terms of payments.

 7.  Retirement Accounts

  • Name of Institution holding account  (last four digits of the account number)
  • Terms of Payment – death benefit, annuity
  • Amount in each account
  • Include any stock options.

8.  List of All Assets acquired during the marriage: While this may not be a list that you agree on, the mediation process is intended to help you work through dividing your assets in an equitable manner.  If you disagree, each of you should make your own lists that can be discussed as part of the negotiation.  If you have already divided your assets, you may choose to make the list anyway so that it can be included in your agreement. Think about:

  • Collections
  • Cars
  • Jewelry
  • Antiques, etc.

9.  Wills

You will need a minimum of three copies of this information, one for each of you and one for the Mediator.  Having this paperwork ready before starting the Mediation process (or any other divorce process) will be helpful to both parties.  It will allow both parties the chance to get a better picture of where you are financially, which will help when you begin the negotiation process.

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Wellbeing of the Children

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Marion Korn

Say what you want about Charlie Sheen but he has at least one good thing going for him: a good parenting relationship with his ex-wife Denise Richards.  Despite what Denise calls “one of the worst divorces” it seems she and Sheen have put their difference aside for the sake of their two daughters Sam and Lola.  Richards has been there to support Sheen throughout this year’s many public falls, support she offers because “We’ll always have a bond with our daughters, and I wish nothing but the best for him.” Richards’s support of her daughters’ troubled father shows the importance of putting aside ones ego and focusing on what is important: the wellbeing of their children.

Posted in After Separation, Children, Current Affairs, Divorce, Family | Leave a comment

Planning to Separate after the Holidays?

Posted on December 9, 2011 by Marion Korn

Many families postpone their separation until after the holidays.  There are things that can be done in preparation for that change while you have the time to research online or make enquiries during your time off from work.

Here are some tips:

 1.    Start collecting financial documents like credit card and bank statements, investment and RRSP statements, mortgage and property tax statements, etc.  Prepare a file so that you both have what you will need.

 2.    You can check your credit rating.  In that way, you will have the same information as the bank when you start to negotiate lines of credit or changes to your accounts or even your mortgage.

 3.    Work from a budget for the holidays.  In the event that you are using joint credit cards, it is easier to agree on who will be responsible for costs when you are planning a purchase than when you are paying for it.

 4.    Find time to research your options.  Such things as:

  • a survey of the cost of alternate accommodation in your area
  • the dates of the school holidays for the upcoming year
  • local divorce professionals and their approaches to separation and divorce
  • local mortgage brokers
  • local real estate agents

Remember that your involvement in your separation and divorce is the most important factor in reaching an outcome that works for everyone.

Posted in Children, Current Affairs, Divorce, Family, Holidays, Preparing for Separation, Process, Separation | Leave a comment